Dear Mr. Zombie…

Your wife isnt that great of an actress. Yeah, shes pretty and nice to look at and everything, and thats cool…all scary movies need one of those..but that bitch should die within the first, ohh..lets see..3 minutes or so. And she should have no speaking parts, none. There was also no reason to have to show your wife naked in this movie. None, whatsoever. It had nothing to do with the story line and really just made me think “…wtf…” there are plenty of other opportunities to show other naked bitches in the movie, they were fine, but showing your wife completely nude was totally unnecessary.
Thanks,
Leslie.

Onto the movie review..
Not as good as the original. This movie just wasnt scary. It didnt have the sense of dread and the sense of fear that I expect to go along with Halloween. Some of the main characters in the movie were played by some..less than decent actors and thats ok, I like that about a movie, I like seeing faces im not familiar with, however, there was one face im MORE that familiar with and im tired of hearing her lame acting skills and seeing her boobs jiggle in EVERY ROB ZOMBIE FILM. Did this bitch get rejected from Suicide Girls or something? Is this why she feels to need to vandalize every Zombie film? I fucking LOVED “House of 1000…” and it made me wonder if maybe Rob Zombie was a better director than musician (certainly better than the ‘Rob Zombie’ electronic mish mash…but White Zombie is hard to compete with…). That movie was fast paced and straight to the point. Halloween..however..was not. Im thinking that Rob may have a hard time dealing with slow moving suspenseful movies. The character of Michael Myers was really cool, he looked awesome, nice and dirty like a mentally insane person should look..but this movie just lacked SOMETHING and the “feel good” point at the end almost made me puke. This movie was …less than a remake, and more like a different take on a classic film that tried really hard to do the film justice..but just couldnt. There was only one part in the movie I even came close to feeling “scared” about and even then I just went “Oh!” like an old woman who just walked in on her dead husband laying in the kitchen floor because shes expected that ho to die for like three years so shes really not THAT surprised that she walked in on it..kind of like my Neighbor Mrs. McGrady. Yeah. This movie made me feel like Mrs. McGrady and that, my friends..is not good.

Im glad I didnt see this in theatres..I could think of like..4 better things I could spend 9 bucks on…so..there you have it folks. If youre interested in watching this movie, leave me your e-mail in a comment. I dont want to post links here that lead to “illegally” obtained versions of movies..so..yeah. If you just happen to find 10 bucks laying on the ground and you cant think of ANYTHING to do with it..then definitely see this movie in theatres..but you should probably just buy a dime bag and watch Spongebob instead..