A few years ago I had a beautiful Rudraksha Mala. I never wore it as a fashion item and only used it during mantra reciting. Well, there was a time when I strayed from my faith and I decided to start wearing it as a fashion item and within 15 minutes of me wearing it, I bent down to pick something up off of the floor and as I raised up the mala got caught on the arm of my computer chair, snapped and the beads went flying all over the room. When that happened, it literally felt like my heart was in every one of those beads and as they shattered everywhere, so did my heart. I just stood there for a minute, watching the beads roll around on the floor and I just sat down and started to cry.

I decided that I would not buy any more Rudraksha Mala’s until I felt that I was back into a secure spot, spiritually. Well, now I feel secure again. I have never turned my back on my faith or my God. But, sometimes God would not be on my mind, where God should constantly reside, along with inside my heart. Now, dont get me wrong. I never lived some pious, devout life. I have never been a monk, and I still am NOT a monk..hahaa. I dont believe that spirituality and God are reserved for the elite. However, in my own personal brand of spirituality, in my own faith, there have been times in recent years where I felt less than worthy because I was too caught up in other things and forgot my spiritual path.

Well, I feel “right” again. I have a mala made of yak bone and a few nights ago I picked up that mala and I held it in my hands and I began to recite “Om Mani Padme Hum” while holding the first bead, then the second, then the third..all the way to 108. I havent felt so tranquil, so peaceful, and so full of light in a very long time and I realized that this is where I need to be. My mind doesnt need to stray far from God because far from God is where I am least happy. Near God is where I am completely illumined. I felt genuinely happy and at peace with everything in my life. I loved that feeling. So, I decided that I was ready again. I thought it over for a few days and I made a purchase today of 4 Rudraksha Malas. You can view them here.

I also decided to start vlogging about my beliefs, my faith and my spirituality. You can find the videos on youtube under the account name : nineunknownmen.

Here is my first video: