The Fountain of Youth has been long sought after. I remember being a kid..and going to visit my dad in Florida…I remember him taking me to the “Fountain of Youth” (some tourist trap)..and I bought some bottled water from the fountain hahaha. But, the real fountain of youth are wrinkle creams. Many women use them…but beware..some wrinkle creams like dermitage may not be all they claim to be. Before spending major bucks on a cream, you should visit a consumer review site like topwrinklecreams.net to learn the truth about the creams that are on the market…so that you can make an educated decision regarding which cream is best for you!

This just in. I am not a tech savvy person. I mean, I guess I am more tech savvy than your run of the mill, average person…but when it really comes down to it…I know very little. I dont know one thing about hdmi, or hdi or video cables or whatever else one may need! I wrote an entry a while ago about still using the big huge TVs..and not switching to a plasma or flat screen or whatever. My plan is…to keep away from anything that needs DVI chords..or cables…or…WHATEVER AHHHHH!

A few weekends ago..the flea market was in town! It comes once every month here, but unfortunately I dont always get to go…and theres been this big stink because the flea market is held at our state fairgrounds, but our previous governor tried to pass a bill to get rid of the fair grounds..which…was completely against what every Tennesseean wanted…anyway…we got a new governor and for now the fair grounds stay (yay!!)..ANYWAY..sooo…at least until next year the flea market (and other awesome events that I love) will stay AT the fair grounds.

Anyhow, hahaha…got a lil off track…the flea market came a few weekends ago and I saved up some money to go there. I ended up spending most of my money on perfume, but my boyfriend bought me a really pretty sterling silver ring (im a silver freak..i dont like gold or any other fancy stuff…just silver…). He also PROPOSED to me!!! So, I have the ring he bought me at the flea market, plus the ring he gave me when he proposed..and a ring he gave me a long time ago hahaha…

I guess youre curious about my answer. It was a conditional ‘yes.’ Romantic, eh? Well I am not the romantic type…and…I am just…I dunno. I love him so much but I am the “live moment to moment” kind of person..so…if we are still in love years down the road and that leads to marriage then thats amazing…but if it doesnt then..it doesnt, you know?

Speaking of jewelry..need any Grand Cayman jewelry??

It seems like everyone is getting rid of the big ol tvs now-a-days. I see one sitting at the garbage compactor everyday as I am driving out of my apartments to go to work. Theyve probably moved onto an LCD or plasma screen or whatever you call those things. Well…needless to say..my mom and I have NOT upgraded and we still use a big, chunky tv! Haha..so we are definitely not in need of any types of tv mounts or stands or..whatever else. But…if YOU need some (and you probably do..since I am the only person in the world without a plasma screen..haha) then you need to check out standsandmounts.com. Their prices are great..and you get free shipping on everything!

I havent blogged in a while. Sue me! Seriously though, I HAVE been busy. Anyway, I am writing now to get something off of my chest. A total bitch session. Something happened earlier today that has been racking my brain since it happened. This may be a long entry…because I am going to try to tell the story from the beginning.

A long time ago, I got a message from this guy on Myspace. I didnt know him, but he knew me from the clinic and somehow found me on Myspace. We started talking, etc. I had a boyfriend at the time so I was very up front about the fact that I did NOT want a relationship with him. He said he was ok with this and thought it was cool if we could just be friends. Cool. I love making new friends. This guy seemed cool..so yeah…making a new friend with a cool person is definitely up my alley.

Anyyywayyy….fast forward a little ways, I become single. I make it known, once again that I have no interest in a relationship, etc, etc and he says he is ok with this….yet every single time he spoke to me he mentioned the fact that he liked me, or had a crush on me..and even mentioned trying a “relationship” once or twice. This made me very uncomfortable, and definitely pushed me away from ever wanting to hang out. He never REALLY respected the fact that I had mentioned over and over again that I was not interested in a relationship. Despite this, he was a very nice person..so I remained cordial to him, while trying to keep my distance because by this time it was obvious to me that it would be INCREDIBLY hard to maintain a friendship with him because it seemed impossible for him to have any kind of conversation with me other than him liking me, or having a crush on me or something to that effect. Whatever.

Oh yeah, another gripe…one time he messaged me..basically just to ask me if I am Hindu, only to follow that question with a statement saying he doesnt believe in Hinduism. Hahaha..I then asked him what Hindus believe, and whaddya know..he had no idea! Then he tried to get into some pseudoreligious debate with me, which…I mean, I know he doesnt know me..but for anyone who DOES know me..I am an independent scholar..and religion/theology/eschatology is my niche. During this conversation, I mentioned to him that I do not “think the same” as most people. I feel I am on a different level. I made sure to point out that this does not mean I am smarter, more intelligent, or better than anyone..because I am not…it just means that I feel I am more spiritually, or metaphysically in tune with the universe. I ended up making a facebook status saying the same thing (all of these conversations have been taking place on facebook, by the way)…he read the status, assumed it was a dig at him, and told me that he doesnt think I should be writing things like that as my status updates LOLOLOL @ ANYONE TELLING ME WHAT I SHOULD AND SHOULDNT WRITE!

So this is when I went into SUPER distance mode. This person doesnt know me, so for them to randomly message me starting debates is insane, and then to tell me what I should and shouldnt post is…deadly, lol. So I really backed away…but I maintained my cordiality because despite everything…he seemed like a nice person.

Now, dont get me wrong. I KNOW I am a bitch…but I honestly wasnt ever bitchy to him. I remained nice and friendly throughout it all.

Then today. This happened.

He sends me an instant message that says something along the lines of “So I see you and whats his name are back together, or maybe youre not and maybe thats just an old picture” (I had in fact posted an older picture of Abe and I). Then he followed that up with “SNOW!!”

No “Hi.” No “How are you?” No “Whats up?” Nothing. This person…this man..that I barely know..sends me this message, speculating about my relationship status, which, quite frankly is none of his business since I had pointed out multiple times that I was not interested in a relationship. So naturally my response was “….and why should this matter?”

He responded by telling me I shouldnt get “hostal(sic).” I told him I was definitely not getting hostile but thats a strange way to start a conversation.

He then turned it allll around on me and tried to make me look like the bad guy by saying that he was just trying to make me smile, or laugh or something…and basically…screw him for trying. Ok. Im sorry..but NO. NO. NO. NO! I am a perceptive bitch and you were NOT trying to make me smile or laugh by inquiring about my relationship status. I know exactly what the fuck you were trying to do and if by SMALLLLLLL mother fuckin chance I am WRONG…then you REALLY need to take a class or some shit on how to make a girl smile or laugh or whatever the fuck you said you were trying to make me do. Whew. ANYWAY…

Just…no. I can now see that there is NO WAY a friendship can EVER happen between me and this person because he is not letting go of the fact that a relationship will never happen between us. He hasnt respected that fact since the beginning, and then to come at me with that statement without even saying hello? That is overstepping boundaries…MAJORLY…and THEN to try and turn it around on me and make me the bad guy of your own embarrassment? Hell no. Not happening.

Whats so fucked up about this..is..for the past few weeks he had made no remarks about liking me or any of that bullshit so I was like “ok…cool..hes finally respecting the no relationship thing so we could probably be good friends!” and for the first time, I was seriously considering befriending this person. I made plans with him for next week..which I was actually going to follow up on…but now that this has happened, I see that all that would have done is fuel whatever idea he has in his head about him and I.

So I took him off of my Facebook friends…and I have no plans on talking to him again unless he wonders why I took him off my FB friends, in which I will be completely honest with him. But he will probably read this first, hahaha.

So theres my bitchfest! Im gonna go play the Sims now.

would consider myself very ‘paranormally inclined.’ Whatever that means, haha. Yeah, I am heavily into the paranormal, etc, but the psychic world is not something I ever had a whole lot of interest in…until very recently. I guess I could consider myself analytical..in a way. I think a lot, and according to my astrological profile I am an “ultra thinker.” And…lately, since I have been on anxiety medication, thus, feeling less anxious..I have had the time to meditate on my anxiety and panic problems..and what could be causing them.

This is the ever-present subject that comes up during every single counseling session with my counselor. Its also the main question that comes up in everyones mind when one suffers from a ‘mental illness….’ “What is causing it?” I think we are often led to believe that something HAS to cause things like anxiety, and when I say ‘something’ I mean, like, daddy issues..haha. Dont get me wrong..I had my daddy issues..but those have been worked out for quite some time now. For the past two years my counselor and I have been digging into my past to try and find out if there was, possibly, some trigger that caused this debilitating anxiety..but other than plain genetics (my aunt suffers from anxiety, and my grandmother also)…there is nothing that I can come up with (alone or with the help of a professional) that has either caused my anxiety..or triggers anxiety and panic attacks.

So, as I said, I did some meditating on my problem and I came up with a theory. This ties in with all the psychic and paranormal stuff I was talking about up at the top. Perhaps I am a sensitive. This even sounded silly to me..but..the more I researched, and the more I naval gazed (turned inward)…the more it made sense. I am not saying that EVERY SINGLE BIT of my panic is a result of me being a sensitive…I just think that, perhaps, a sensitivity to energy/vibes/etc could be one of the primary causes of my anxiety and ESPECIALLY my panic.

My anxiety level changes with even the most subtle of change in energy. Its as if I subconsciously pick up on a change in energy, and if that change is the least bit negative…BOOM…it happens. Or, it starts happening. And, the trick to beating this affliction would be to learn to manipulate the energy around me…take that negative energy and channel it into something positive, thus making it positive..changing that energy around me would make the panic attack go away, and I realize I have subconsciously done this by getting up and walking, or playing with Charlie…removing myself from the area where that negative energy bumped into me…and changing it into something…not so negative.

Energy “Sensitives” and things like that, like I said, are not something I put much thought into until recently..but until now, my anxiety has never made this much sense to me.

Here is a link that contains a lot of good information on HSPs or..highly sensitive persons…http://www.the-auras-expert.com/highly-sensitive-persons.html

So…this is something I am going to continue to research…and I am going to try and find someone educated on this subject that I can speak with. Ill probably make a video blog about this soon